I wasn’t aware that Women’s Day was celebrated before I studied in Florence.  The morning of March 8th that year, I bounded down the stairs in my apartment next to the Sante Croce Cathedral along the Arno River.   I whipped out into the sunshine, happy to be in Florence.

I wandered a little way down the cobblestone street and unlocked my “be-basketed” cruiser bike like I did every morning. I jumped on in full pedal mode. The side street my apartment was on was never very busy, so I was surprised when an older Italian man in a plaid jacket and newsboy cap motioned for me to stop.

He said, “Happy Women’s Day” in Italian and handed me a lovely fresh yellow flower.  My Italian was pretty rusty, so I was completely baffled by this sweet gesture of kindness.

I soon found out that Florentines observe Women’s Day by handing out little gifts, flowers, and watching the kids, so women can go out with their friends that evening.

Women are so special and important to the world.  I have always felt a keen sisterhood with all human beings of the female gender.   Women’s rights and the power women can wield have also been very important to me, even from a very young age.

When I worked at the United Nations headquarters in New York, I had the opportunity to learn even more about women around the world.  I learned more about worldwide challenges for women such as lack of access to water, poverty, lack of education, human trafficking and sexual violence.

Different avenues of women empowerment such as education and micro-credit loans are some of the solutions I was able to study and participate in.

But there is another issue that plagues the women of this earth.  It is just as dangerous as poverty and hunger — the loss of virtue.

Many ignore the slow decay that is the sexualization of women in society.  I would sadly propose that most in the world don’t think immorality and objectifying women are a problem.

And it’s starting early.  IN 2011, Deseret News published an investigative series on the sexual objectification of women and girls.  In one 2011 article, “The End of Innocence, the Cost of Sexualizing Kids”, Deseret News reported some shocking finds.

Sexualization, experts say, devalues accomplishment, intelligence and character. Pope John Paul II once said “the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of a person, but that it shows far too little.” The same can be said when people are valued only for sex appeal, says Jason Evert, a San Diego-based author and motivational speaker, who addresses thousands of teens each year.

Steve Thomsen, communication professor at Brigham Young University said, “At a “very young age, sexuality becomes a component of their self-concept. That’s what they see. They discover relationships with members of the opposite sex at younger ages. Music has content that pushes the envelope. With a combination of a lot of factors, children at 10 or 11 now think the way someone two generations ago reached at 19 or so.”

Poor body image and appearance obsession is also a problem with women and girls.  Deseret News reports:

The sexualization of girls is happening at a younger and younger age as children, even toddlers, are bombarded with a plethora of adult influences and perceptions, studies say.

Eighty percent of 10-year-old girls in the U.S. report they have been on a diet, according to a recent study, “Eating Disorders Today — Not Just a Girl Thing.” The study also reported the No. 1 wish for girls from the ages 11-17 is to be thinner.

It’s cliché, but true – the media vaults these ideas further at a frenzied pace.  The plague of pornography and non-stop sexual images that are presented in the mall, on the TV, in music and video games starts to chip away at young brains and their idea of self sinks lower and lower.

…Jennfier Stevens Aubrey, University of Missouri professor, conducted…studies have shown that women who tend to objectify themselves are more likely to have eating disorders, have low sexual and self esteem, be sexual risk takers and have depression. The same is not true for men. Men are not only judged by their looks, but by things like their intelligence, assertiveness and accomplishments.

The more media people consume, the more likely they are to treat women and girls or themselves as an object “The media increases self-objectification for women. Girls begin to believe they are for someone else’s pleasure. It’s very dehumanizing.

And I think that word, “de-humanizing”, is the key.  Sadly, genocide has been committed so many times throughout history.  In Nazi Germany, Hitler promoted his campaign and the slaughter of Jews, by propaganda – the media.   He was able to convince people that Jews, Gypsies, mentally challenged people and others were less than human.   He stripped them of their place as persons, and in doing so, was able to perform unfathomable atrocities.

It’s hard to believe that such brutality existed in our “evolved” society just 73 years ago.  And yet we only need to look as far back as the early 90’s for examples of ethnic cleansing in Eastern Europe.   Genocide and constant, deplorable violence on women have sadly been going on and still goes on in many countries in Africa.

So what is the answer to all this?  How can we solve such a massive problem?   I believe it begins in the home.

It is so unfortunate that no matter how diligent parents are; in this world there is only so much they can do to prevent exposure of these destructive ideas to their children.  But parents can control what is taught in their own home.

I am not yet a Mom, but often think about how I will tackle these problems one day with my children.   My own Mother and sister-in-laws are wonderful examples of virtue and teaching virtue.

It saddens me when I see a mother who might promote some of the poisonous, sexualizing ideas herself.  I had many friends in high school and college whose mothers emphasized so much on “looking hot,” being popular, being cute and having boyfriends.   These goals seemed to trump being a good friend, grades, or planning seriously for the future.  It was shocking to me how many of my friends throughout the years had a mother who emphasized so much having a perfect body.

Once in college one of our guy friends came over to the apartment I shared with a few roommates.  He told us he had just asked a girl out and that they had gone swimming on the first date.  I was floored when my roommate’s immediate response to this information was:

“That was smart to take her swimming on the first date, so you check out her body and see if you want to keep dating her.”

I was even more offended when the guy nodded along, saying that was a really good point.  It was unbelievable to me that one woman would so blatantly and methodically objectify a one of my gender.  It was so abhorrent to me that the main value of this date was how her body looks in fewer clothes.   Her intelligence, hobbies, how good of a person she was or how well she got along with this guy, were never even considered.  I couldn’t understand how my roommate instantly turned this peer into a hunk of meat.

When I later met my roommate’s mother, I could understand why she would think like that.  Her mother was extremely body-conscious and emphasized the ideal body constantly.

To fight the de-humanizing of women, we start in our homes.  Whenever I have been asked if I am a feminist, I reply, “Yes.  And that is why I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ.”  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, (often mistakenly called the Mormon Church), is a safe haven and champion of womanhood.

Elaine S. Dalton, recently released Young Women’s General President of the Church of Jesus Christ, spoke about the virtue of women:

Of women and mothers, President Gordon B. Hinckley once said:

“We must never lose sight of the strength of the women. … It is mothers who most directly affect the lives of their children. … It is mothers who nurture them and bring them up in the ways of the Lord. Their influence is paramount. …”

So how do a mother and a father instill in their daughter the ennobling and eternal truth that she is a daughter of God? How do we help her step out of the world and step into the kingdom of God?

…Young women need mothers and mentors who exemplify virtuous womanhood. Mothers, your relationship with your daughter is of paramount importance, and so is your example. How you love and honor her father, his priesthood, and his divine role will be reflected and perhaps amplified in your daughter’s attitudes and behavior.

If we teach virtue to our children and practice it ourselves, our families, communities, and the world can be changed for the good.  Virtue means purity, integrity, kindness, goodness and strength.  Sister Dalton gave us this call:

Again I renew the call for a return to virtue. Virtue is the strength and power of daughters of God. What would the world be like if virtue—a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards, including chastity—were reinstated in our society as a most highly prized value? If immorality, pornography, and abuse decreased, would there be fewer broken marriages, broken lives, and broken hearts? Would media ennoble and enable rather than objectify and degrade God’s precious daughters? If all humanity really understood the importance of the statement “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father,” how would women be regarded and treated?

We may not always be able to choose the influences we are exposed to, but we can choose how we react to destructive ideas and how we teach our children what is right. I am following Sister Dalton’s call and re-evaluating how I can be more virtuous.  Won’t you join me?

Additional Resource:

Leaders and Organization of the Church of Jesus Christ

Mormon Message about Women

Sexualizing Young Girls

“People fell in love with this little boy, who had first been diagnosed with this ravaging disease when he was only a three-year-old toddler.”

Despite legitimate assessments by many people that social media, such as Facebook, create a false sense of intimacy, the chronicles of Mitchell’s journey testified of his parents’ faith in their Heavenly Father’s plan and faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

His parents, Chris and Natalie Jones, are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, often mistakenly called the Mormon Church. They “believed the burden would be lightened if they shared their anguish—and so they did in photos, videos that include doctor’s reports and their vivid reactions, and journal entries.” Their experiences resonated with readers and comments on their Facebook page “reflect that those thousands who followed this heartbreaking story learned something more about faith, enduring tragedy with grace, and how to love their children with more intensity.”

Chris Jones’s entries are compelling:

I’ll never forget the look of bewilderment on Natalie’s face upon hearing the diagnosis. I remained stoic and collected, but after leaving the doors of he hospital I stayed behind and sat on a bench that looked over the valley and wept.

Today, knowing what we know (after seeing the doctor), we see some of the things he does with a different perspective—and we are now recognizing what were before silent indications that this disease was already taking grasp on his little body.

He also shares his faith and trust in our loving Father in Heaven—a closeness with God that helps Latter-day Saints through the trials of life:

Something happened a few years ago and I don’t completely understand why  . . . and I suppose in time that it will be revealed; but, since the day Mitchell was born, I have had a recurring and persistent impression that his life on this earth would be short. This feeling came long before this devastating news about his disease–and when we had no reason to believe such a thing. Over time I told only a few people about this impression . . . . But for reasons I don’t completely understand at this point—I had this persistent uneasiness about him. I now see (at least) that our loving Heavenly Father wanted me to know something was wrong. And indeed—something is. He warned us . . . in effect prepared us to some degree. And if He did that, He will also carry us places we don’t have the strength to go ourselves.

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ understand that Jesus Christ’s Atonement provided resurrection and redemption for all of God’s children. Through life’s painful experiences, they grow to understand the enabling and healing power of the Atonement. Chris Jones wrote:

“I am grateful to have learned something of the Atonement—and while I have much to learn about that sacred topic, I know enough about the hope it provides to keep from sinking.”

The funeral address given by Mitchell’s father appears on the Facebook page. He shares six tender mercies that were “extended to our family during this journey” and he thanks Heavenly Father for them. His concluding words reflect his continued trust and faith in God and his belief that he will be reunited with Mitchell:

As our little boy approached death, I began to sense that Mitchell was much older than I realized. Beneath the veneer of a little 10-year-old’s broken body was a spirit that was older and wiser than I appreciated. And while I miss his tender face, his soft voice, and his beautiful soul . . . so very much . . . every-so-often I am beginning to get a sense of things as they really are. His spirit existed long before he came to this earth—as did all of ours. . . .

But as painful as this separation is, I know that my redeemer lives. And because He lives, so also, does my son.

And I will spend the rest of my days chasing after them—so that I might enjoy that sacred reunion and all that Heavenly Father would offer.

This article was written by Paula Hicken, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Paula Hicken was an editor with the Neal A. Maxwell Institute for Religious Scholarship from 2000 to 2013. She earned her BA degree in English from Brigham Young University. She edited Insights, the Maxwell Institute newsletter, and was the production editor for Faith, Philosophy, Scripture, Hebrew Law in Biblical Times (2nd ed.), Third Nephi: An Incomparable Scripture, and was one of the copy editors for Analysis of the Textual Variants of the Book of Mormon. She also helped manage the Maxwell Institute intellectual property and oversaw rights and permissions. She has published in the Ensign, the Liahona, the LDS Church News, and the FARMS Review.

Reference:

Thousands followed Mitchell’s Journey on Facebook

Additional Resource:

Mitchell’s Journey

And with the protruding belly, the backaches and the lack of balance, I’ve also recently remembered that part of being pregnant with my fifth child means that I get asked, “Are you done yet?” and “Do you really think you can handle another one?”  And I feel the unspoken question is passed through a glance, “Why don’t you use birth control?”

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (often mistakenly called the Mormon Church), we Mormons are often known for having large families.  What many people don’t know is that we have these large families mindfully.  Every single one of my children was intentional. We believe that before we came to earth we lived with God, as his children, and that we awaited the opportunity to receive a body and progress to become more like Him.

Because we have a belief in a life before birth, members of the Church of Jesus Christ have a unique desire to invite those spirits, who have yet to be born, into our homes as our children.   We believe that this offers them the greatest opportunity for their continued growth in a household of faith.  We also feel a personal responsibility to fulfill God’s commandment to “multiply and replenish the earth.”

Sometimes I am asked by close friends who practice other religions why we don’t use birth control and I jokingly answer, “We do!  Imagine what my family would look like if we didn’t!”  In all seriousness, in such private matters the husband and wife use the guidance of the Holy Ghost to direct them in the number and spacing of their children.  Birth control is not expressly endorsed or forbidden except in one instance—abortion.

From True to the Faith, a manual for those seeking Mormonism’s basic tenets:

“Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints must not submit to, perform, encourage, pay for, or arrange for an abortion…Some exceptional circumstances may justify an abortion, such as when pregnancy is the result of incest or rape, when the life or health of the mother is judged by competent medical authority to be in serious jeopardy, or when the fetus is known by competent medical authority to have severe defects that will not allow the baby to survive beyond birth.  But even these circumstances do not automatically justify an abortion.”

We believe that the giving and taking of life are two powers that should not be handled lightly.  Failure to be cautious in the giving of life does not justify the taking of that life, or the promise of that life, after the fact.

Although procreation is undoubtedly an essential part of God’s plan for our happiness here on earth, sexuality between a husband and wife is not meant solely to create life.  It’s meant to be a unifying experience for married couples.   Modern scripture elaborates on the Adam and Eve story.  In it, God expressly commands, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh“ (Moses 3:24).

The sacred powers of sexuality and creation are revered and honored in LDS culture and as such, are guarded by our strict adherence to modesty— including the wearing of the temple garment under our clothing— and our commitment to being sexually abstinent before marriage and completely loyal to our spouse after it.

In many religions, there is an altar, a sacred place where hearts are given to God in complete offering.  For us, altars are found in churches where the sacrament is broken and blessed and in temples where we kneel across from each other and are married. It is here that promises are made and God extends His grace to His children.  Kneeling before an altar shows complete submission to the will of God and His timing.

In our home, we have another special place—our bed.  We kneel before it and offer our hearts to God and accept His will for our family.  We promise to care for each of the children He sees fit to give us—His children, not ours really.  And we share a sacrament as husband and wife that unites us in passion and joy and selflessness.

We may be done having children, we’ll see.  We always try to take them one at a time.   But whatever the future holds, I know we can handle what God has given us through His grace.  Bound together in spiritual, emotional, mental and physical unity, my husband and I pledge our hearts to each other, to God and His children.

This article was written by Miranda Lotz, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Miranda H. Lotz is a military wife, mother and avid reader.  She loves composing music and currently resides in Colorado Springs.

Strengthening Families

And honestly, I don’t really know the answer. I don’t know what they think Christians do or don’t do that conflicts with being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sometimes called “Mormons.”

I wake up in the morning and kneel inside my covers on my bed, maybe a better Christian would kneel on the side of the bed, but it’s too cold up here in North Dakota. I pray in gratitude for our home and for protection through the night. I thank the Lord for health and pray for strength through the atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ to get me through the day. I pray for guidance for my four children eight and under. I pray for the protection of my husband as he serves in the military. I pray for family members who are struggling with their own unique challenges. And mostly I pray for the constant guidance of the Holy Ghost.

Then it’s time to wake the kids. I hate to do it, but if we don’t have scripture study in the morning it becomes an all-out rumble at night. We gather around our kitchen table and sing a hymn and have a prayer and the kids begin to eat their breakfast, while Greg, my husband, reads aloud from the Book of Mormon or Bible. The Book of Mormon is a record of people who believed in Christ and how He chastened them and led them and loved them. We only make it through about a page a day; maybe a better Christian would be able to do more.

After the kids are on the bus, I exercise and shower and play some games with my two year old. I listen, hopefully with compassion, as a friend drops by and needs to unload some doubts and fears and insecurities. Maybe a better Christian would know how to offer more comforting words. But as it is, my friend has me, so we joke a little bit and cry together a little bit. And then we hug each other and take a deep breath.

When afternoon comes around my kids come home exhausted, and I try to make peace between them as they bicker about which television show to watch and beg for me to pop some popcorn. Perhaps a more Christian mother could end the bickering with a kind word, but I snap at them. And then I apologize. And then I make the popcorn.

By 6:00, I’m ready for the day to end. But it’s family home evening. Once a week we have a lesson on either a gospel principle like faith in Christ or prayer, or just another topic that we feel like our kids need to hear about like bullying or even the infamous lesson, “Hygiene—it keeps me clean.” You can imagine what the content was for that lesson. Greg pulls aside one of the kids to help him teach the lesson and I pull aside another to choose a treat and be my helper in the kitchen. It’s divide and conquer to create unity.

We joke that family night is the only argument that begins and ends with a prayer. But this lesson goes by rather calmly and serenely. For just a moment I feel like they’re getting it. Like they understand that Christ is everything. That we can turn to Him no matter what. Maybe other Christians have more of these moments.

And then the moment’s gone, and it’s time for a rousing game of duck, duck goose. They gobble their brownies and milk, and I usher them into the bathrooms to brush away the sugar bugs. My kids change into their pajamas and climb into bed where I see them kneel under their covers to pray. They’re cold too. I wish I could show them a better example. But maybe with Christ I’m enough.

Article was written by Miranda H. Lotz

Miranda H. Lotz is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a U.S. Air Force wife and mother. Miranda is involved in musical theater, sings, sews, writes, and serves in the children’s “Primary” organization in her local Mormon congregation.

Additional Resources:

Basic Mormon Beliefs and Real Mormons

The Lord Jesus Christ in Mormonism

Mormon Families

Mormon Youth

I returned home from the store frustrated and discouraged.  I clicked on the TV for my children, and called my sister, Liz.

“Are these really the best years?” I demanded.  “People keep telling me that these years are the best, but honestly I’m exhausted all the time.  I’m barely keeping my head afloat.  And if it just gets harder, I’m going to drown!”

“It gets easier.  Your kids are dependent on you in so many ways right now, but give them some time and then it’ll really start getting fun. And honestly, those little old ladies just don’t remember what it was like.  It was too long ago for them,” Liz soothed.  “Can I tell you a story?”

“Yes, please.”  Liz has great stories.

“Last week I decided to make brownies,” she began.  “I followed the recipe from the family cookbook and used real vanilla and put them into the oven to bake.  About 15 minutes before the brownies were done they smelled amazing.  I thought,  ‘I should have my brownie now before all the kids come in and want me to dish theirs for them.’  So I pulled the brownies out of the oven and cut myself a piece.

“But as I put that first bite into my mouth instead of getting a delicious brownie, I burned my mouth on a steaming ball of glue. It was disgusting.  I had to throw out the brownie I had scooped for myself.

“Do you see where I’m going with this?” she asked.  “You are using the right recipe and the right ingredients to make a strong family.   You are living the gospel of Jesus Christ.  You’re praying together and studying the scriptures.  But you’re trying to taste your brownies too soon.  They’re not done.  It’s going to take some time before you feel like your family is becoming delicious to you.”

We members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, casually called Mormons, are often deeply involved with our families, because we believe that family ties can exist after we die, if we make and keep certain covenants with God.  These covenants, or two-way promises, include our increased commitment to honor the commandments as absolute laws.  We make these promises within Mormon temples during the endowment ceremony and are given God’s promise that our families will be sealed to us, or kept together with us, for eternity in the marriage ceremony, known as the sealing ceremony.  As the strength of our commitment to God increases, so does the eternal bond which unites our families.
This belief in eternal families is one of the most striking doctrines of the Church of Jesus Christ.  Although most people believe in their hearts that they will see their deceased family members again, most religions make no promise about being together after death.  In fact, many Christian religions even specifically proclaim that marriage will be “until death do you part.”

But members of the Church of Jesus Christ stand as witnesses that Heaven would not be Heaven without our loved ones.  Our families are fundamental to our well-being here and are the foundational aspect of our happiness in the eternities after this life.

Liz was right. It’s been several years since that desperate phone call, and in that time while my “brownies were baking” a world of joy and fun has opened up for us.  As we’ve tried to follow God’s plan for our salvation–the recipe; as we’ve fostered love and compassion, forgiveness and work—the ingredients; and as we’ve let time do it’s work our family has grown stronger.

Right now, I feel like I’ve had some tantalizing whiffs of the brownies that are still baking.  And they’re going to take a lifetime to finish.  But, oh, how good they will taste in Heaven!

This article was written by Miranda Lotz, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Miranda H. Lotz is a military wife, mother of four, bibliophile and musician. She lives on a remote Air Force station in Cavalier, North Dakota.

Additional Resources:

Mormon Temples

Worship with Mormons

Mormon Families

Mormon Youth