And with the protruding belly, the backaches and the lack of balance, I’ve also recently remembered that part of being pregnant with my fifth child means that I get asked, “Are you done yet?” and “Do you really think you can handle another one?”  And I feel the unspoken question is passed through a glance, “Why don’t you use birth control?”

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (often mistakenly called the Mormon Church), we Mormons are often known for having large families.  What many people don’t know is that we have these large families mindfully.  Every single one of my children was intentional. We believe that before we came to earth we lived with God, as his children, and that we awaited the opportunity to receive a body and progress to become more like Him.

Because we have a belief in a life before birth, members of the Church of Jesus Christ have a unique desire to invite those spirits, who have yet to be born, into our homes as our children.   We believe that this offers them the greatest opportunity for their continued growth in a household of faith.  We also feel a personal responsibility to fulfill God’s commandment to “multiply and replenish the earth.”

Sometimes I am asked by close friends who practice other religions why we don’t use birth control and I jokingly answer, “We do!  Imagine what my family would look like if we didn’t!”  In all seriousness, in such private matters the husband and wife use the guidance of the Holy Ghost to direct them in the number and spacing of their children.  Birth control is not expressly endorsed or forbidden except in one instance—abortion.

From True to the Faith, a manual for those seeking Mormonism’s basic tenets:

“Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints must not submit to, perform, encourage, pay for, or arrange for an abortion…Some exceptional circumstances may justify an abortion, such as when pregnancy is the result of incest or rape, when the life or health of the mother is judged by competent medical authority to be in serious jeopardy, or when the fetus is known by competent medical authority to have severe defects that will not allow the baby to survive beyond birth.  But even these circumstances do not automatically justify an abortion.”

We believe that the giving and taking of life are two powers that should not be handled lightly.  Failure to be cautious in the giving of life does not justify the taking of that life, or the promise of that life, after the fact.

Although procreation is undoubtedly an essential part of God’s plan for our happiness here on earth, sexuality between a husband and wife is not meant solely to create life.  It’s meant to be a unifying experience for married couples.   Modern scripture elaborates on the Adam and Eve story.  In it, God expressly commands, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh“ (Moses 3:24).

The sacred powers of sexuality and creation are revered and honored in LDS culture and as such, are guarded by our strict adherence to modesty— including the wearing of the temple garment under our clothing— and our commitment to being sexually abstinent before marriage and completely loyal to our spouse after it.

In many religions, there is an altar, a sacred place where hearts are given to God in complete offering.  For us, altars are found in churches where the sacrament is broken and blessed and in temples where we kneel across from each other and are married. It is here that promises are made and God extends His grace to His children.  Kneeling before an altar shows complete submission to the will of God and His timing.

In our home, we have another special place—our bed.  We kneel before it and offer our hearts to God and accept His will for our family.  We promise to care for each of the children He sees fit to give us—His children, not ours really.  And we share a sacrament as husband and wife that unites us in passion and joy and selflessness.

We may be done having children, we’ll see.  We always try to take them one at a time.   But whatever the future holds, I know we can handle what God has given us through His grace.  Bound together in spiritual, emotional, mental and physical unity, my husband and I pledge our hearts to each other, to God and His children.

This article was written by Miranda Lotz, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Miranda H. Lotz is a military wife, mother and avid reader.  She loves composing music and currently resides in Colorado Springs.

Strengthening Families

And honestly, I don’t really know the answer. I don’t know what they think Christians do or don’t do that conflicts with being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sometimes called “Mormons.”

I wake up in the morning and kneel inside my covers on my bed, maybe a better Christian would kneel on the side of the bed, but it’s too cold up here in North Dakota. I pray in gratitude for our home and for protection through the night. I thank the Lord for health and pray for strength through the atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ to get me through the day. I pray for guidance for my four children eight and under. I pray for the protection of my husband as he serves in the military. I pray for family members who are struggling with their own unique challenges. And mostly I pray for the constant guidance of the Holy Ghost.

Then it’s time to wake the kids. I hate to do it, but if we don’t have scripture study in the morning it becomes an all-out rumble at night. We gather around our kitchen table and sing a hymn and have a prayer and the kids begin to eat their breakfast, while Greg, my husband, reads aloud from the Book of Mormon or Bible. The Book of Mormon is a record of people who believed in Christ and how He chastened them and led them and loved them. We only make it through about a page a day; maybe a better Christian would be able to do more.

After the kids are on the bus, I exercise and shower and play some games with my two year old. I listen, hopefully with compassion, as a friend drops by and needs to unload some doubts and fears and insecurities. Maybe a better Christian would know how to offer more comforting words. But as it is, my friend has me, so we joke a little bit and cry together a little bit. And then we hug each other and take a deep breath.

When afternoon comes around my kids come home exhausted, and I try to make peace between them as they bicker about which television show to watch and beg for me to pop some popcorn. Perhaps a more Christian mother could end the bickering with a kind word, but I snap at them. And then I apologize. And then I make the popcorn.

By 6:00, I’m ready for the day to end. But it’s family home evening. Once a week we have a lesson on either a gospel principle like faith in Christ or prayer, or just another topic that we feel like our kids need to hear about like bullying or even the infamous lesson, “Hygiene—it keeps me clean.” You can imagine what the content was for that lesson. Greg pulls aside one of the kids to help him teach the lesson and I pull aside another to choose a treat and be my helper in the kitchen. It’s divide and conquer to create unity.

We joke that family night is the only argument that begins and ends with a prayer. But this lesson goes by rather calmly and serenely. For just a moment I feel like they’re getting it. Like they understand that Christ is everything. That we can turn to Him no matter what. Maybe other Christians have more of these moments.

And then the moment’s gone, and it’s time for a rousing game of duck, duck goose. They gobble their brownies and milk, and I usher them into the bathrooms to brush away the sugar bugs. My kids change into their pajamas and climb into bed where I see them kneel under their covers to pray. They’re cold too. I wish I could show them a better example. But maybe with Christ I’m enough.

Article was written by Miranda H. Lotz

Miranda H. Lotz is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a U.S. Air Force wife and mother. Miranda is involved in musical theater, sings, sews, writes, and serves in the children’s “Primary” organization in her local Mormon congregation.

Additional Resources:

Basic Mormon Beliefs and Real Mormons

The Lord Jesus Christ in Mormonism

Mormon Families

Mormon Youth

I returned home from the store frustrated and discouraged.  I clicked on the TV for my children, and called my sister, Liz.

“Are these really the best years?” I demanded.  “People keep telling me that these years are the best, but honestly I’m exhausted all the time.  I’m barely keeping my head afloat.  And if it just gets harder, I’m going to drown!”

“It gets easier.  Your kids are dependent on you in so many ways right now, but give them some time and then it’ll really start getting fun. And honestly, those little old ladies just don’t remember what it was like.  It was too long ago for them,” Liz soothed.  “Can I tell you a story?”

“Yes, please.”  Liz has great stories.

“Last week I decided to make brownies,” she began.  “I followed the recipe from the family cookbook and used real vanilla and put them into the oven to bake.  About 15 minutes before the brownies were done they smelled amazing.  I thought,  ‘I should have my brownie now before all the kids come in and want me to dish theirs for them.’  So I pulled the brownies out of the oven and cut myself a piece.

“But as I put that first bite into my mouth instead of getting a delicious brownie, I burned my mouth on a steaming ball of glue. It was disgusting.  I had to throw out the brownie I had scooped for myself.

“Do you see where I’m going with this?” she asked.  “You are using the right recipe and the right ingredients to make a strong family.   You are living the gospel of Jesus Christ.  You’re praying together and studying the scriptures.  But you’re trying to taste your brownies too soon.  They’re not done.  It’s going to take some time before you feel like your family is becoming delicious to you.”

We members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, casually called Mormons, are often deeply involved with our families, because we believe that family ties can exist after we die, if we make and keep certain covenants with God.  These covenants, or two-way promises, include our increased commitment to honor the commandments as absolute laws.  We make these promises within Mormon temples during the endowment ceremony and are given God’s promise that our families will be sealed to us, or kept together with us, for eternity in the marriage ceremony, known as the sealing ceremony.  As the strength of our commitment to God increases, so does the eternal bond which unites our families.
This belief in eternal families is one of the most striking doctrines of the Church of Jesus Christ.  Although most people believe in their hearts that they will see their deceased family members again, most religions make no promise about being together after death.  In fact, many Christian religions even specifically proclaim that marriage will be “until death do you part.”

But members of the Church of Jesus Christ stand as witnesses that Heaven would not be Heaven without our loved ones.  Our families are fundamental to our well-being here and are the foundational aspect of our happiness in the eternities after this life.

Liz was right. It’s been several years since that desperate phone call, and in that time while my “brownies were baking” a world of joy and fun has opened up for us.  As we’ve tried to follow God’s plan for our salvation–the recipe; as we’ve fostered love and compassion, forgiveness and work—the ingredients; and as we’ve let time do it’s work our family has grown stronger.

Right now, I feel like I’ve had some tantalizing whiffs of the brownies that are still baking.  And they’re going to take a lifetime to finish.  But, oh, how good they will taste in Heaven!

This article was written by Miranda Lotz, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Miranda H. Lotz is a military wife, mother of four, bibliophile and musician. She lives on a remote Air Force station in Cavalier, North Dakota.

Additional Resources:

Mormon Temples

Worship with Mormons

Mormon Families

Mormon Youth